Priestly Curses

Following a conversation with a new friend about the fact that I'm a Kohen (of the family of Jewish Priests) and the implications that had for my life I decided to delve into such matters.
For those who don't know, a Kohen is not allowed to come into contact with (or within a certain distance of) a dead person, nor are they allowed to marry a convert or divorcee. These rules are for the purpose of maintaining purity of those who perform the Temple service and, despite the fact that the Temple is not currently extant, they have been retained for many generations.

So yes the first issue is that, as a medical student, there's not much room for not dealing with death so, a number of years ago, I asked my Rabbi about this and he granted me an exemption from this rule, presumably on the basis of pikuach nefesh (the sanctity of human life and that virtually anything is excusable on the basis of saving a life).
The question then came to the issue of marriages and restrictions related to that. The restriction on not marrying divorcees is (potentially) reasonable if purity is the goal to be attained however the rationale behind not marrying a convert was less clear. In Judaism converts are considered no less Jewish than someone born Jewish and, often, are actually more observant. So what was the aetiology of this ruling?
As one does these days, I googled a few terms to see what we could find…

I had assumed that the issue relating to marrying a convert was about purity. It turns out that's not entirely true. The reason given for a Kohen not being allowed to marry a convert is not actually (directly) related to purity as I had presumed, but rather (and I was impressed by this) has to do with an interpretation in the Talmud of the term "harlot".

Wikipedia says that for a Kohen, marriage is prohibited to the following:
- a divorcee (even re-marrying one’s own ex-wife)
- a woman who has committed adultery, been involved in incest, or had [sexual] relations with a non-Jew.
- a female convert, out of concern for what may have occurred to her while she was a gentile (Talmudic law).
A born-Jewish woman who has had premarital relations may marry a kohen if and only if all of her partners were Jewish.

Something I find exceedingly odd, is that, apparently, a child of a Jewish mother and non-Jewish father, while halachically Jewish, is prohibited from marrying a kohen, by rabbinic law.

According to AllExperts.com, "any Kohen who makes such a marriage [with an
inappropropriate woman] loses his priestly status". This is of great import as it also means that any sons born to that man in the future would also not being Kohanim, whereas otherwhise they would have been.

A very strange perspective came from http://www.ottmall.com/mj_ht_arch/v12/mj_v12i05.html, in which it was stated that there was a ruling such that "in the case of a non Orthodox conversion he could receive the Kohen aliyah since he was not really married since she was not really Jewish, a rare advantage of a non Halachic conversion"
Hmmm, I certainly can't see myself agreeing with that one...

Also, it seems that the different streams have different rules. Specifically, Reform doesn't recognise priestly status anyway, Conservative Judaism allows and recognises such marriages, while Orthodox Judaism does not (or at least not without the sacrifice of one’s priestly rights)

This all having been said, whether I were or weren't to break this rule regarding marriages, it wouldn't be the only one - the laws of Niddah, for example, as well as many non-relationship related laws. Furthermore, considering Jewish law regarding relationships, I’m already in trouble. A question arises, however, when looking again at the case of marrying a Jewish woman who’s engaged in pre-marital sex (as is so common these days) – it’s OK if she’s only slept with Jewish men but not if she’s slept with non-Jews. The question then is that of why there appear to be no rules about who I should be able to sleep with prior to marriage – after all, isn’t it my supposed purity that we’re trying to maintain here?

Clearly there's a conflict here, again, between tradition and the realities of the modern world. The question is what each person makes for themselves of it, when considered on balance... (and, even better, if you can find a rabbi who you'll know will rule in your favour!)
As always with me there are no answers, only more questions. :-)

please feel free to comment!